It's hard to ask for help. I really am going to need help to pay for the phone and electric. I have a draft of the letter to COR here next to me on a pad, and I hate it. I feel like I'm groveling.
The bizarre thing is that I believe that the Christian church must help each other. Christians must actively help one another. Absolutely.
Have to accept it as well as give it.
Funny, there are people in society whose hands are permanently stretched out asking for help. And there are others who would sooner starve, or sit in the dark, then ask for help.
I feel unworthy of help a lot. That's a lot of it. It's not a spiritual feeling. It's part pride and part the tapes of the past stuck in my head that I am not worth someone else's efforts.
Still working on this...but if I don't get busy I will be sitting in the dark and without a phone! Or with no money for food and gas...