Sunday, January 9, 2011

What Now?

Let me get this out of the way, because it is weighing on my heart.

Someone came to the door just as the Chiefs were finishing their losing effort against the Ravens today. I took my usual time answering the door--I have given up running to the door like a fool--and saw a Ford pick up going down towards Elmwood. He left some enormous foot prints in the half inch of snow on the ground.

I looked around to see if any neighbors had similar visitations--they had not.

My theory is that this was a process server, with some sort of legal papers coming against me.


Kansas Board of Nursing
Missouri Department of Revenue
Jackson County
City of Kansas City
Old debt from AT&T
Old debt from MGE

All people who want money from me...

It really scares me and is very demoralizing to me. I am tired of having to face this stuff alone. I know that it is all my fault for managing my life so badly, but the work to disentangle it, it's a lot of work in areas I am not very good at, and I'm scared and intimidated.

I am trying to remember that God and I can handle it. Really. That I can be disciplined enough and together enough to handle whatever might come my way.

I pray so. Some days this type of stuff looks 30 feet tall and totally unmanageable.

Lord, help my unbelief!

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