Monday, July 11, 2011

E Mail From Mom

So mom sends an email:
What's new? Have not heard from you in months. Want to visit? Got a job? What are you up to? How are the cats? Do you hear from Kathie? Mom
Most would find this pretty innocent stuff, friendly inquiry, how ya doing.
I just hear the echo of my own inadequacy and failure--I hear having to justify myself to her, I hear her judgment, I hear her condemning me as incompetent.

I feel absolutely nuts about this. She is not a soft place to land and I know that, but am I just reading way too much in this?

But I know that I fall short of her expectations. (Hell, I fall short of my own expectations!) I am scared of her judgment--I don't feel supported but condemned when she asks about jobs etc.

I don't know how to respond to the email. Help.

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