What's new? Have not heard from you in months. Want to visit? Got a job? What are you up to? How are the cats? Do you hear from Kathie? Mom
Most would find this pretty innocent stuff, friendly inquiry, how ya doing.
I just hear the echo of my own inadequacy and failure--I hear having to justify myself to her, I hear her judgment, I hear her condemning me as incompetent.
I feel absolutely nuts about this. She is not a soft place to land and I know that, but am I just reading way too much in this?
But I know that I fall short of her expectations. (Hell, I fall short of my own expectations!) I am scared of her judgment--I don't feel supported but condemned when she asks about jobs etc.
I don't know how to respond to the email. Help.